Reflection (basics)

Principles / Rules

When reflecting in a team, it is always best to maintain a consistent trustful and considerate interaction with each other. If this is given, there is no need for rules. These are only useful if "in the heat of the moment" this is no longer the case. Therefore, in the following some principles, which have proven to be useful

• It is always only about the impression of the person who äussert. This does not have to be seen that way by the rest of the team, nor does it have to correspond to reality. Everyone has the right to express their impression without being interrupted. Furthermore, it is not reasonable to evaluate voiced impressions.
• Even if the expressed impression refers to the possible misconduct of a person, he should not be cornered by the Äußerungen. The person in question has the right, before anyone else, to express his or her own views on the matter after making a statement to that effect
• Reflection is about the positive as well as the negative impressions. Both should be geäussert.

Outdated principles

Here are two more points that are propagated again and again, but unfortunately are not goal-oriented.

• First say what was good, then what was not.
• Always first name three things that were good, and only then offer the (negative) criticism.

The problem with these two "rules" is that they tend to be "therapeutic" to the other person. Like a child you're parenting. Further, any "compliment" takes on a crude aftertaste, because when you receive one, you very quickly go into the "defensive position", wondering what you "did wrong again". Compliments thus become an excuse to criticize the other person and are therefore often not meant seriously. Such behaviour has no place in a team in which there is a clear goal orientation, mutual trust and appreciation

Take criticism with confidence

• Keep your cool and don't go into a "defensive position" or counterattack. Your opponent is only making his impression, and he has a reason for making it
• Remember: What your opponent says to you can either annoy you or benefit you. Whether it becomes the former or the latter is all up to you.
• See criticism for what it is: an opportunity to improve. It is also often the case that criticism is only given to those people who are expected to perform particularly well based on experience. Criticism is therefore in many cases a sign that you are already quite good
• That's why: thank your critic!
• And last but not least: Stand über the criticism. Not every criticism is fair, not every critic is right. Treat everyone with respect, but don't take every criticism to heart.

Note: The above was about a "übliche form" of criticism. If you are constantly attacked, insulted or bullied, other measures are to be taken and the above points are to be ignored!

Who is right now?

In the end, everyone can at best give their own, sometimes very subjective impressions. Everyone has a slightly different image of a person. Also the person himself. In the end, no one can give a completely accurate picture of the situation and therefore no one is 100% right. What we can do is pass on our impressions and together with everyone else come to the best possible picture of the situation

What happens if a behaviour is obviously wrong, possibly even violated internal/external principles or was even dangerous?

In such a case, reflection is not the right form. If a leader has acted negligently in a dangerous way or violated essential principles of work, the team leadership must intervene accordingly, clarify things and, if necessary, draw further consequences. In this case the things said are not to be classified as "subjective impressions" of a person, but in many cases clear instructions that have to be followed. The form of reflection must not be misused by team members to "turn a blind eye" to grievances raised, because it is only the "subjective opinion" of the other team members.

Image credits

• Title image: © steve prinz  / pixelio.de